Monday, February 15, 2010

February 15, 2010

Today could have been our angel baby's birthday... today is the due date I had for the baby we lost at 7 weeks. I was sad today, thinking of who he/she was and that I never got to meet him/her. I know God has reasons for everything and I trust Him that our baby was needed in Heaven. Gone but not forgotten.


With the boys, I had the wierdest craving. Dirt. Of course, it was more with Andrew than with Daniel... mainly because I was UNHEALTHY.

With this pregnancy, I have wanted just about any type of food I can get my hands on... minus red meat and anything with onion.

Olives, pickles, cantaloupe, cookies, cheetos, japanese, curly fries, apple pies, kit kats, and buttered noodles... just to name a few :)

Weight gain will be terrible this time, I can already tell. I was weighed for the first time on Jan. 12 and then again on January 28. Up one pound in just over 2 weeks. Not counting all I gained in December when I was on my sugar cookie kick!!

As of right now, I am only a handful of pounds away from where I was when I went into labor with Andrew and Daniel... so I need to be careful. But food tastes so GOOD!!

Due Date August 22, 2010

This pregnancy had me so worried in the beginning. I have to be honest and say that I freaked over every cramp, twinge and symptom. I guess with the boys, I took their pregnancies for granted. Not once did I ever worry about losing them or having something go wrong. And even when I had problems, I still felt like everything was going to be ok. I guess that is the difference in a 20 year old mind verses a 33 year old mind (who had a miscarriage).

Days crawled by in the beginning... especially since I didn't get very much reassurance at my first doctors appointment (Dec. 18). Just the normal pee test and bloodwork. I didn't even get weighed... which is a whole other story, lol.

By Christmas, I only had a few pregnancy symptoms. Sore bb's and nausea that came and went (sometimes I wondered if it was in my head). By week 6/7 I had only felt nausea after I had large meals.... which is not typical. This gave me more worries. Everytime I went to pee, I was scared to death of seeing blood.

I knew that seeing the heartbeat would give me a lot of relief, and the appointment was set for January 12th. Let me just tell you, I thought the day would never get there and then when it did, I was a nervous wreck.

Scott and I braced ourselves during the exam and even the doctor said it makes him nervous to do this after someone has been through a miscarriage. We got all of our worries resolved though, when we saw a beautiful little baby with a healthy beating heart. Scott said he almost cried. I was so thankful for such a good ultrasound. Our baby looked perfect.

Telling the kids (and family) December 24, 2009

Our creative minds decided that we would make t-shirts for the kids that announce the pregnancy. We thought it would be a neat way to tell them as well. Andrew's shirt would say "going to be a big brother again" and Daniel's would say "Little Brother (crossed out) with Big Brother" written below it. We would wait and give the shirts to the boys when they were getting dressed to go to Nana and Paw Paw's for Christmas Eve Dinner.

It was so funny.... Andrew actually stumbled upon his shirt when he came into my room (the shirt was on the bed). He said, "Big brother again?" and was all confused. Scott and I decided that we had to tell them before he thought anymore about it. They were SO excited!! It was so neat to see their eyes light up at the thought of having another baby in the house. I have such wonderful boys!!

The way we planned to tell my family was to have the boys wear the t-shirts under sweatshirts and when I gave the ok, they would take the sweatshirts off and see who noticed them first. I wanted to do it at prayer before dinner, but the timing wasn't right. So we waited. All through the night, the boys kept giving me the "eye" as to when it was time. Finally, just before all the kids were going to open gifts, we sent the boys upstairs to take off the sweatshirts. It seemed a little odd that after begging to open gifts all night, my kids were nowhere to be seen when it was finally time to open presents.

Then with everyone sitting around waiting, the boys came downstairs (with crazy grins on their faces). My sister was the first to read Andrew's shirt. She read it and looked at me with her hand clasped over her mouth... then my mom read one of the shirts and let out a huge scream "I am quitting my job and babysitting". It was a priceless moment! We got hugs from all around and I feel that my family was TRULY as excited about this pregnancy as we are. It couldn't have happened better! What a wonderful Christmas this was...

Update thru December 9, 2009.... a lot has happened!

Where do I begin?

Our ttc journey had ups and downs through out the last year. After our miscarriage in June, I initially wanted to conceive right away. I felt that it was the only way I could heal from the loss. Unfortunately my body didn't think it was ready. The doctor wanted us to wait 3 cycles, I wanted to wait none. I guess God thought the doctor was right...

However, changes in my job situation proved to change our plans for trying to conceive as well. In late August, I found out that I was transferred to Murphy Middle. It was good in some ways, bad in others. I knew I needed to keep a job, so I decided to make the best of it.

I had once thought getting pregnant was really easy... and maybe at one time in my younger days, it was. Each month of getting negative results, I grew worried that maybe it was just not going to happen for us. I know that some people try for years, but being the impatient person that I am... I wanted it NOW.

By Thanksgiving, our lives are pretty stable. I have fit in well at Murphy and Scott is well on his way to opening his own store. I guess timing is everything because something "worked" over the Thanksgiving holidays and by December 9th, I got my first "faint" line on a pregnancy test. I was overjoyed, yet very cautious at the same time. I wanted to tell Scott on Christmas, but there was NO WAY I could wait that long. I did wait a few days, taking daily pregnancy tests (well, sometimes several a day). Finally I was convinced enough to buy an expensive digital test... and that is when I told Scott.

Telling the kids was a different story.

I couldn't bear breaking their hearts if I told them and then this pregnancy ended in another miscarriage. However, we decided that we would tell them on Christmas but only after we had seen the doctor first.